In our 21st century culture, marriage is sometimes entered into hastily, and even more often walked away from without a great deal of remorse. This pattern is so at odds with the vision of Jesus himself, who, in a contentious moment with the religious authorities of his day, asked “Have you not read that from the beginning ‘the Creator made them male and female’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?’” (Mt. 19:4-5).
One flesh. One heart. One future. Our Christian vision sees marriage as far more than signatures on a license from New York State. It is a sacred covenant entered into freely and knowingly by a man and a woman, a bond ordained by the Lord himself to be permanent and lifelong. Its twin purposes are the ever-deepening sharing of life and love between the spouses, and the creation of new life in children. Looked at from an even more spiritual standpoint, marriage has been seen from the time of the New Testament as a sign that points beyond itself: the union of husband and wife is meant to be a sign to the world of the unbreakable bond that joins Christ to his Bride, the Church.
Weddings at St. Lawrence typically take place on Fridays, Saturdays, or Sundays, in the context of a Mass, or a ceremony apart from Mass. Times are flexible. The first step is always for the prospective bride and groom to contact the rectory office, at least 6 months before the intended wedding date, at (631) 589-0042 x 110. The couple will be referred to one of our clergy, who will call to set up an appointment for an initial interview.
Marriage Preparation (“Pre-Cana”)
Because marriage is celebrated between two adults, and has a profoundly spiritual dimension, the Church believes it deserves significant preparation beforehand. This preparation begins with an interview with one of the priests or our deacon (above), and continues with some form of sacramental preparation—often called “Pre-Cana.”
Pre-Cana gives a small group of engaged couples the opportunity, over several meetings in the home of a married couple, to look deeply at themselves and their relationship, to share experiences, confront challenges, and ready themselves for the life they plan to commit to. For more information about Pre-Cana, as well as FAQ’s about marriage and Natural Family Planning, please click here.
Wedding Music
Couples at St. Lawrence have a considerable amount of freedom in planning their wedding liturgy. Materials are provided that make it easy to select Scripture readings, prayers and blessings, and the particular phrasing of marriage vows. There are also several possibilities for having family and friends participate in the liturgy.
Most couples are particularly interested in making choices about their wedding music, and our Music Ministry is eager to help. If you are ready to begin selecting music, the following links will help. The first provides our current guidelines for wedding music, as well as a list of titles. The second is a selection form on which you're asked to indicate your choices. And (coming soon), a third link that will allow you to listen to the selections.